When life becomes a pain….

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There are many ongoing dis-ease conditions both physical and emotional that people suffer from nowadays that require permanent pain control:

In the light of increasing prescribed and self-medicated pain relief addictions, this article is going to look at how we can get beyond pain control. Not only will this solve the root of the problem, but give you more energy and a greater ability live life the way you want it to be.

One typical disease such as this is fibromyalgia – various painful sensations and sensitivities anywhere in the body. Although it can be managed with de-sensitising pain relief such as medication, ‘positive thinking’, relaxation techniques including visualisation and water therapy, the pain however still remains. Medical science does to not understand the cause of this condition and can therefore not clarify a route forward for sufferers.

So many are locked into a miserable cycle of chronic ailments with no sign of cure.

In energy medicine we understand that chronic or unresolvable disease symptoms are the result of two opposing forces locked in stalemate, after an attempt to correct an imbalance – because our systems have an in-built mechanism to maintain haemostasis (balance) in order to keep us healthy and strong.

What are these two opposing forces?

The first is your life force that wants clear dis-ease (or dis-harmony) out of your bio-energetic system so that you experience better well-being or health (harmony). This force however can be opposed by our conditioned responses that occur in our nervous system (a wiring that conducts our life-force), that block the energy to come through in the right way.

So for example, if someone is upset, but does not dis-charge the energy of that negative emotion through crying or attending to their emotional needs, by blocking it and ‘sweeping it under the carpet’, where do you think that pent-up emotion (energy in motion) goes? Into the unconscious part of us which is……the body. We use our body as a dustbin for all the unprocessed and therefore unresolved negative feelings, in the hope that we’ll never have to look at the  again!? Wrong! When someone does this, it is because they have been conditioned through survival programming to deny their own bad feelings because of many possible reasons, for example:

  • People would think they are miserable and not fun and would therefore not like them so much and not be with them.
  • People will take advantage of them as they would be displaying signs of weakness.

So one can see that the survival program forces you to choose safety over happiness: Survive or Thrive?

So over some time, if a person represses emotional pain from a number of incidents or unhappy ongoing situations in their life, the bio-energetic system of their body will have to hold more emotional charge. This is when the vital energy has to start trying to ‘discharge’ this increasingly problematic charge that will block the positive functioning or that person, just like a battery. If the life-force is successful, because the person has succumbed to it and ignored the social programming, they will have a good cry, and look at the cause of that upset, and how they could correct their thoughts and actions to create a better outcome in their lives. That would possibly mean breaking some of that social programming in favour of keeping their systems clear of pent-up emotional charges.

An example may be a person may have an ongoing situation where they are bullied or demeaned. They are too frightened to challenge or express anger because they believe that the person has power over them, either they could take something away, or not provide some them. Instead of remaining ‘present in their body’ sothat they can immediately sense that this is more damaging to them than any outside influence, they allow their fear of future outcomes to govern their response.

We all have many years of  pent-up emotional charges inside us and here is a way to discharge them: Pain is nature’s way of drawing attention to the body. When you pay attention to something, it receives more vital energy:

“Where attention goes, energy flows”

The problem with pain killers is that we block that diversion of attention, so that your body cannot heal. To illustrate my point here, I’ll use an event that happened to me: I was suffering from severe menstrual cramps and have always known that pain killers will block that healing, and I took it once stage further, by remaining fully present to the pain, no matter how excruciating it was.

Another thing to remember is that our nervous system is automated to run away from pain, and run towards pleasure. Thus most people are stuck in a cycle of compulsive fear and desire, never resolving their problem.

So what happened next was really surprising: I had managed to transcend the fear of pain and desire for relief, and got myself into a state of equanimity or “ok-ness no matter what”. It was at that point, that the intense pain turned into something completely different, like a flick of a switch, into a warm wave of loving, healing energy that felt incredibly pleasant!

What I gauged from this was that in my relationships, I have always neglected my own feelings thereby suppressing self-love! The act of paying attention to the pain in my body, just like a mother holding a crying baby and allowing it to express it’s pain, was an act of self-love. This then sets up a harmonious relationship within yourself that can enable your life-force to heal you now and protect you from future dis-ease.

My advice to anyone suffering from long-term pain, is to pay attention to that pain, by sensing it, without distraction from the mind. This includes not meditating and visualising, because that is running away  and managing it. If there are tears then you are releasing somatised (or embodied) emotional pain. This is a good thing, don’t allow your mind to tell you otherwise.

This exercise, transcends resistance and that is the ONLY cause of disease.

 

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Who are you beyond your story?

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We can sometimes struggle to cope with negative drama in our lives, because of the emotional pain that it brings. It could be that we find it difficult to forgive ourselves or others or because we are anxious about future outcomes. If we are focussed on past events, then we generally feel sadness or anger and on future event, anxiety.

Either way, my concern is that an ongoing experience could become detrimental to our health, well-being and also, I believe, our future outcomes. Why? Because continuing the drama in our minds will limit our precious life-force, the source of our health and well-being.

When we reduce the experience of ourselves as a limited character in time and space as we focus on the story line, an energetic resistance is set up via the nervous system that will dis-allow actions and thoughts within us that do not comply with this limited character. It is this blocking of the life-force energy And this is the true reason why we feel that pain and suffering. The pain is not caused by other people or even yourself – it just seems like that because you are focussing on them whilst you’re feeling the pain.

This story can only be experienced in our minds because it can create a subject-object environment for the story to play out. (Think of the 2 hemispheres of the brain, one is objective, linear and logical, the other subjective that provide the feelings and pictures). So for example if the story in your mind tells you that you were the helpless victim, any inspired empowerment actions or thoughts will be blocked by our nervous system, because it has to ‘get with the program’ set up in the mind.

I use the four elements, fire, water, earth and air to illustrate how energy and life flows in our reality. The vital energy is fire energy, which corresponds to action and to our super-conscious self that holds the ‘bigger picture’, our purpose and vision of what we want to be and create. It is our instinct that comes from beyond the mind that initiates these inspired actions that come from an inner vision of a better way of being, not based on current perceived limitations. To illustrate this concept further, all animals run of this super-conscious intelligence by default (no, they don’t sit around worrying if they upset their mother-in-law) and that’s why they know what to do in order to adapt to their environment so that they can thrive – such is birds flying south in winter. The mind does not have the capacity to see the bigger picture, that it is capable of doing something to get what it wants beyond it’s immediate or past experience.

Attachment (to the story and to the outcomes) is the root of all suffering”, Buddha.

My healing system is designed to deprogram our nervous system to stop making our okness conditional to our external circumstances, so that we can become more fully aligned to our vital energy. This it will provide an increased source of health and well-being, as well as help us create the life that will really suit us.

One of the many tools that I have developed is a simple visualisation exercise, based on Byron Katie’s self-development work, and using remedies that will remind us to get out of the story in our mind, whereby we become more aware of how hurtful this activity is to us, before we have delved too deeply and made it a compulsive habit.

Lose your mind to come to your senses!

It is our physical sensory perception within our body that takes us out of the past or future, where the mind operates and into this present moment.

I have now created an audio that takes you through a simple visualisation process to let go of that character you think you are and uses remedies to take ensure that you become more alert to the discomfort that you are subjecting yourself. What is then leave is ONLY who you really are, your true nature: Love, freedom, joy, peace and passion.

The audio that I have created is free until the end of 2018 Christmas gift from me to you. FREE TO DOWNLOAD HERE

 

Running on Empty: Adrenal exhaustion and chronic fatigue

A mindfulness teacher recently asked me about this widely spread malaise in our hectic world. There are many signs and symptoms, listed below, that I see in my clinic that indicate the problem, but don’t get too hung up about them: In the holistic world, if you have any it doesn’t mean your body is faulty, they act as reminders that we have not aligned ourselves correctly towards life. Once this is remedied, your can run on all cylinders again:

To get an understanding of why we have these symptoms, we need to know that the adrenal glands are part of our fight and flight mechanism, as well as influencing our metabolism. Adrenalin should only be used, when there are extraneous problems in our life, to give a boost when we need to run away from the tiger. The problem occurs when this acute become a chronic. ie it’s relied upon for day-to-day life. This then puts the body into permanent survival mode, which can result in any number of the following symptoms.

MENTAL/EMOTIONAL

  • Non-linear thinking, that feel like popping corn in your brain, giving rise to unfounded anxious thoughts
  • Negative, self-reproachful thoughts, because the mind is constantly trying to find reasons why “things aren’t working out”
  • Similarly giving rise to uncharacteristic aggressive, impatient or defensive reactions
  • Or, a defeated, low feeling

PHYSICAL

  • Weight gain around the stomach, survival mode trying to protect the vital organs with fat
  • Weight loss thighs and bottom, depleted collagen in the skin, making it slack,  because the metabolism  is then burning up proteins instead of fats.
  • Sudden sugar/carb/stimulant cravings.
  • Sleeplessness: Frequent waking in the night,  lack of adequate deep sleep.
  • Frequent urination at night (the adrenals sit on top of the kidneys).
  • High cholesterol in blood
  • Inadequate calcium assimilation, depleting bones and teeth instead laying calcium on top of them leading to tartar on teeth, tooth decay, osteoarthritis, and osteoporosis. (there is a link between the metabolic systems of adrenals, para-thyroid and thyroid glands)
  • Autoimmune conditions due to an over active fight of flight mechanism
  • Chronic fatigue.

The overall effect is DEPLETION of basic resources. In other words, too much going out of the system, not enough coming into the system to replenish it.

The Solution is to balance out how you replenish your system to match your output: realise your vital force

When we are running on empty, we are by definition, using up resources that we don’t really have in the first place. In holistic medicine, healing happens through re balancing our functionality. And the way I suggest is through our perception, because Perception is Everything. First of all, we need to understand why we get out of balance: in the western world we tend to do a lot of ‘Doing’ rather than Being (one could argue the opposites true in the eastern world). Doing is active, Being is passive. So when something seems to be a problem, whatever the problem is, we are fundamentally conditioned to ‘do’ something about it. An example would be, if we feel we do not have something that we need, we go and ‘get’ it – which is an action.

Now here is my secret behind resolving this issue: we have to learn to receive:

by standing still in our lives and noticing that our vital energy is already supporting us through our lives. It’s the perception of this that changes our experience. What I notice is that when I do it I feel a physical tingling in my body, starting with the hands and feet, traveling towards the centre. I automatically start to feel grateful because I realise that so much benevolent energy is healing and nurturing me – this is what we call the vital force. I then start to feel already whole and complete inside, where poverty is no longer my experience. From this inner feeling place, we can look out on the world and start to feel more secure and ‘at home’, merely because now we can see the complete picture. From this secure and sustainable place, we know we an endless supply of energy. What we can then discover is that because this is the case, we can choose the kind of activities and goals we wish to do, because we no longer have to do things to get things – which is all the treadmill stuff that makes our heart sink. Instead, we can do the stuff that makes us feel excited and alive – and guess what? We end up only doing the things that energizes us, so it’s a win-win scenario.

In this way we start to feel whole and  complete, but we haven’t done a thing, we’ve just shifted perception. And our bodies, that reflect our inner feeling state will follow suit. It no longer feels depleted, but rather more alive and at the same time replete. Our bodies ultimately therefore reflect how we are seeing life – and the good news is that you can change that!

One condition that is a good example of an acute version of this problem is post-natal depression. This condition is due to a combination of two factors: exhaustion from the marathon of giving birth and a system ‘spiked’ with oestrogen which affects the adrenals and thyroid in particular (which happens in pregnancy). So, again anti-depressant drugs will not address the underlying problem of this situation, as this is a physical not psychological cause. For immediate action I would always recommend strict bed-rest and possibly a homeopathic remedy most indicated in the symptoms, one of which being considered would be folliculinum to counteract the estrogen levels. This remedy is very good for people who give too much, against their will, but according to others needs, thereby deputing themselves a) because they are doing actions that don’t inspire them and b) they stop receiving, because they are always ‘the givers’ and feel guilty or unworthy to receive.

To illustrate my point of intention: Everyone knows a ‘needy’ friend, colleague or acquaintance, who you try to avoid, because they are always draining. It’s not that you begrudge giving them your time or help, it’s that they are sucking it out of you, because they feel ‘in need’, but have to get it rather than receiving it from you.  When another friend in need comes along, but only receives what you have to offer, you feel your giving to them is very energising to you, because the energy dynamic is correct. So it not the lack or the doing that is the problem, but the intention behind the giving and taking.

When we live a life of balance, we perform actions when we are inspired and when at rest, receive the energy that is already prevalent. This way, whatever you do in life will never deplete you. My analysis of the situation is likening it to putting a battery into an appliance the wrong way round, wherebv the poles are reversed. The energy is flowing in the wrong direction and therefore our appliance (lives/bodies) do not work properly, until we’ve shifted perspective. This is how we become conscious creators: we receive the inspiration that comes from inside of us and then act perform the action that has been inspired out of joy, which is supported by our benevolent vital Force that is unfailingly there for us no matter what!

Transitioning from the Dead Zone to the Live Zone

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Life is like a flowing river: ever changing, ever new, ever present but never them same.  This is what vitality is –  the unhindered flow of energy that flows through us, giving us an ever-present, ever changing unique experience. When we are fully engaged with our vitality and therefore life, we feel fresh, light, alive, buoyant, pleasantly expectant, trusting, spontaneous, energised, not a care in the world, because nothing, literally, matters in the grand scheme of things.

Do you feel like this now? Yes? Great! No? Then let’s find out why.

Something that has become very clear to me in my practice is that that fundamentally we become dis-eased when there is a stuckness in that flow of life. Just like a river, if that flow is blocked, there is stagnancy, decay and pollution – in physical terms, our bodies accumulate toxins, which degrade cells and are, from the holistic point of view, at the root of most chronic ailments.

What is the reason? Again, likening it to a river, we either hold onto the sides of the bank and let the current of life batter us, or dam up the river so we end up not moving at all, thereby stagnating.

So those of us who cling onto the tried and tested for fear of the new, (the banks of the river) end up trying to second-guess the future, feeling exhausted (adrenal fatigue is common) always fearing what is round the next corner. The main feeling that results in this is anxiety.

Those of us who dam up the river and remain stagnant, conversely, hold onto the past, letting that define them instead of the ever – present moment. The main feeling is depression and sadness.

What we should be doing is just throwing ourselves into the unhindered flow, sothat we only ever define what we are by what is currently (no pun) is experienced. Resultant feeling? You define yourself as pure innocence, fresh alive and new, nothing can define you, because it feels that you are life itself. Athletes master this and call it being in the zone, to achieve maximum potential in their performance. People spend decades in meditation to achieve this state, but I believe it is available to you right now – you’ve just got to see it!

So how can you become aware of your own patterning to achieve this vital state, thus ensuring pristine health and well-being? By looking at the conditions you put on life for it to be ok for you:  “I can’t be happy until I’ve got a boyfriend”

“I can’t change my day-job until I’m financially secure”.

“I can’t improve my health until I have enough money”.

“I can’t take a sabbatical until I’ve got pregnant”.

“I can’t go on holiday until I have someone to go with me”.

“I can’t buy new clothes and look fab until I’ve lost weight”.

A friend once reminisced that she was in a job she hated, but decided not to give it up, until she got pregnant, in order to receive maternity leave for cash benefit. She did not, however get pregnant over the next year, so, being very fed up at this point, she listened to this and gave up her job anyway. Within a week she got pregnant! Conceiving new life in particular is greatly hindered by thinking in a conditional way and is really the product of love and passion, beyond the rational mind. Given the large numbers of infertile couples, we can see it is a common malaise that could be rectified by this new way of understanding how life works.

An exercise to re-calibrate yourself to transition from the dead zone to the Live Zone.

Just ask yourself: “If money, time, circumstances, and other people’s opinions were irrelevant, what would you be doing right now? In a week’s time? in a month, in a year and in 10 years? Spend as much time daydreaming as you can, and notice how you feel physically. Your body does not know the difference between the pictures in your head and the “reality” outside it. If it makes you feel better then you have already found your own solution.

Now ask yourself “How am I acting, what am I believing on a regular basis that is stopping me from going for that life?” Leave a space in your mind, for the answer to emerge in you.

This is what my work is all about, and that’s why my strap line is Homeopathy for Vitality – not homeopathy to get rid of symptoms, because hopefully you now know that that is not really the issue. Symptoms can be the result of the flow of life, as really they the body re-balancing itself. It’s the present, predominating and persisting symptoms that indicate the block to vitality resulting in the dead-zone. This is what I treat in the individual, because it is the the barriers to that have to be addressed in order to let the flow of life commence within you and through you.

As a final note, I’m not expounding that we live in a totally unbounded way as this would be too alien and disorientating given how our society currently is structured – for example saving for a rainy day. For me, when this thinking does become relevant is when illness is telling you that the constrictions to life are no longer serving you. This is what is then upper most in us to be healed.

So what are you awaiting for? Dive in!

Psychological Tips and Guidelines to help remedy hair thinning or Alopecia

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Hair thinning and alopecia can be very stressful for the sufferer as it can make them feel knock their self-confidence and make them feel very insecure. Unfortunately, whilst the sufferer is struggling with this anxiety, this, as a form of stress perpetuates the hair loss physically as it is an auto-immune condition. This means that the immune system is activated (because stress hormones messages are telling it that there is danger) and working against the body. This in effect puts you in a ‘double-bind’.

I take a holistic approach to all health problems, whereby the mind and body are two sides of the same coin. So my approach is to reveal what is behind the physical symptoms and how to resolve the problem from that underlying state.

As I mentioned in my previous article on Alopecia, issues about hair loss revolve around the ego – your personal identity – who you are in the world. Hair is your crowning glory and in society it is used as an enhancement to our identity – in the film The Iron Lady part of Margret Thatcher’s image revamp was to get rid of the hat, bouffant the hair to “make it look important” which was one of the best ways of getting the ‘unheard’ achieved – getting the first woman prime minister elected.

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The issues and solutions I outline below are based on my own personal as well as professional experience of how this problem comes about and how to rectify the mind-set.

Paradoxically, I have a daughter, now grown up, who is a great role-model for anyone with this issue. She is a ‘typical Leo’, with a long mane of blond hair and her constitutional remedy is Aurum (gold), whose personality type wants to shine. When out of balance, can fly off the handle at the slightest contradiction because they take things personally (their egos get bruised), but when in balance enjoy bringing out the best in themselves, so that they can shine. Although quiet she makes an entrance when entering a room. As a school-child and the youngest in the class, she would give withering looks to anybody who deigned to make a negative comment about her. I imagined potential bullies scuttle off with a whimper as a result. (I did offer hers services to some of her less confident friends to practice That Look). She has always kept her counsel when it comes to her own life decisions, but she definitely knows what she wants and focusses in getting just that. Outside that scope she endeavours to have fun and relax according to her mood and inclination.

So why would anyone want to give up their own personal identity? Surely, life must be more fun and you get more what you want in life if you orientate your life according to who and what you are. In other words, your life revolves around you. Just like the aurum character, you are the shining sun around which the planets in your life revolve around -how great is that?
Like all ailments, I believe the somewhere along the line has been a disconnection from an aspect of yourself, which in this case I believe to be the insecure, vulnerable part of yourself. You therefore internalise your insecurity. This, as Carl Jung, puts it becomes your shadow side, which means that you no longer associate with that state in yourself and just think the “everyone else has that problem, not you” – this is projection. I’ll explain why:

In my observations, many hair loss sufferers have been in situations in the past whereby they had to forgo receiving security whilst still feeling vulnerable on their own. If there were problems of parents not always being emotionally there for the child  or being taken to various relative to be looked after, moving house frequently, parents divorcing, after could be one of many examples of how this would come about. In essence the child, had to create a survival strategy, which goes along the lines of: “Better not rock the boat, as things seem to be chaotic at the moment and just pretend that I don’t need that security I will find another way of not feeling vulnerable. Instead, I will have to forgoe my own identity, which reflects my own preferences, desires and feelings and instead, I will define myself according to other peoples desires, requirements and needs.” You then have to keep you radars out to read what is required of you in order to have a role or identity in life.

What then happens is the the need for security is hidden from view (as I mentioned re the shadow), for both the sufferer and the people around. So the sufferer then sends off the wrong messages, inadvertently, to say they are alright and don’t need anything. So like any trauma, once the feeling is buried, which is insecurity and vulnerability, it is no longer felt, so that the sufferer can manage surviving the situation. Like all buried feelings, however, at some point, when the coast is clear, the child has grown up, those feelings can and have to come out, to be reintegrated consciously into your psyche. Why? Because you have set yourself up to be everything other than being vulnerable as it had been deemed an undesirable state, according to the survival strategy. Where, however would we be if we didn’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable? We wouldn’t experience unconditional love and caring from other people as we’ve set ourselves up to always be The Strong One.

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Think of a small baby – its vulnerability illicits love and attention, without any need for a return from those around, because of its helplessness. This is what your spirit wants to experience for time to time, to feel fully alive. This is why you need to reintegrate your vulnerable side.

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

People with hair loss usually feel very anxious about it. But they think its the hair loss is the cause of the anxiety. This is because the brain is always attributing a cause when something does not feel right. What is really happening is that the anxious feeling is the buried vulnerable state that is already within the person, waiting to come out (that shadow I mentioned). But because we deem the problem to be external, we cannot fully experience unreservedly and thereby integrate the vulnerable state, thus healing ourselves. The paradox is that we are trying to fix the external problem, which perpetuates rather than heals the problem.

As a homeopath, I prescribe remedies that match the feelings of loss of identity, self-sacrifice, internalised insecurity and anxiety about feeling vulnerable, which enables the reintegration of our vulnerable side and thereby stopping the hair loss. It is also possible to help this resolution by trying the following exercise:

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You can now create your own security, become your own sanctuary, to feel completely safe and whole. Make yourself as comfortable as possible and in your mind, visualise the perfect safe space imagining all the things that would make you feel cosseted and look-after. Whilst you are feeling anxious and stressed out welcome yourself into that space and allow yourself to fully feel those feelings, noticing the sensations in your body, the tenseness in your head and all the thoughts that keep popping in your mind. Because you are now looking after yourself, you can now fall into those feelings and sensations and just notice them with curiosity, compassion with no need to work it out or fix it. Just stick with it and you will notice after a while that the feelings start to ease.

This is you allowing yourself to go back to your authentic vulnerable self, and by doing that, you are healing the original problem. Keep doing this every time the anxiety arises and notice that each further episode should decrease in time.  

  Know who you want to be, and what you want out of life – then GO FOR IT.

I have listed further pointers for a for you to re-orientate yourself to fully embracing your own identity. Some may be more relevant than others, just work with the ones that you recognise in yourself.

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Don’t try and keep the peace.

If everyone and every thing is kicking off – don’t try to smooth things over by pacifying them and telling them what they want to here. Instead, connect with your feelings – which indicate your truth and state how you feel about things and what you would like to happen in the situation. Instead, negotiate and communicate through assertiveness – see Whose running Your Life?

Get out of the servitude role 

this is a subtle one. It is always commendable and rewarding to be in a role serving other’s needs, but it’s only if you want to do it for your own pleasure, excitement and curiosity. Don’t let your clients dictate to your the terms and conditions that you operate under otherwise you put your power into the hands of others.

You’re not here to save the world,

be a lightworker or martyr yourself in any other way – you are here to be YOU – and enjoy that experience wholly! It’s no one’s job is to have overall responsibility for things or people – We are here to inspire and admire ourselves and others – that’s how the world becomes a better place!

Be proud of all your achievements and abilities

we tend to overlook the obvious when we’re too busy critising ourselves. Sit on your laurels and preen yourself!

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Be your own authority

you know your own goals, values and interests – this is no-one else’s business, so if anyone tries to tell you – go into collaboration with them (see whose running your life), but if you rebuff or yield to them (two opposite movements) then your giving them authority over you – remember, whatever you resist, persists, so even when you think you are fixing the authority issue by always railing on about that bully in your life, that still keeps you in  the victim role and thereby giving them power over you.

Never be a sanitised version of yourself.

When we look around and try and fit into the prevailing culture, we want to be accepted not rejected. We therefore have a tendency to modify ourselves to fit it – this modification however is based on a law outside yourself and if everyone behaves in the same way we would be clones, making the world a dull/dead place (Have you ever seen the Stepford Wives?)

 Develop your passions and interests

you’re here to enjoy your life (no one else’s). Use whatever’s happening around you at the moment to be your inspiration – choose what you really like, investigate new ideas that catch your eye and immerse and absorb yourself in those activities, doing it for the sheer pleasure alone.

I treated a young father with premature hair loss. He was immensely proud of his young children and derived a lot of pleasure from just observing them. He did, however always feel judged and blocked by his family, when he wanted to go off for a while and pursue some of his own interests. This, again is martyring yourself to the cause.

Fully embody your personality

Yes, you are meant to be that dippy, quirky, funny, unique character. When others are in a bad mood they may complain about it – but that’s their problem and you probably don’t want to be friends with them anyway – there is someone out they who will love you for who you are – and those are the people you are meant to hang out with – But how will they find you if you hide your light under a bushel?

Know that there is a place on earth for you here.

For many of us, the world somehow feels too harsh and wrong at times. It affects our delicate sensibilities and when feeling traumatised, one could start to wonder if there was some kind of mistake and you just have to sit it out until the ‘next life’? With the right vision, when you are in the centre of your own Youniverse (like the word play?) you realise that this life gives you the challenges and opportunities to play things out and experience many things that ultimately help you to get to know yourself better. This is the connection you can reach with yourself – then you realise that you are your own home.

Don’t consult others about your life-choices.

Do you think that your friends and family will approve of your choices from where they are sitting? No, they have their own values, taste and experiences and will only validate your choices if it fits in with their plan. All you need to do is inform them when you are ready to carry out your plans. Disapproval will only be ‘their problem’, not yours. In the extreme case, you may start to know who your real friends are.

Tell other people what they could do to make you happy

You may be pleasantly surprised that your nearest and dearest are waiting to hear how they can make you happy. In our society, things are too skewed towards women being the givers (thus breeding resentment) and men the takers, making them confused and clueless on how they can make their wives happy – which would give them a huge amount of pride and satisfaction.

I had a case of a young mother, who had alopecia, with sleepless babies, whose husband would always go off the week-ends with his mates, leaving her to tend to the family 24/7. Due to her conditioning she found it difficult to issue clear instructions to her partner on what she needed from him. The remedy I gave her helped her to see the value of doing this and she no longer had to suffer in silence.

wabi sabi

Don’t try to be perfect

Fastidiousness is a common trait  in alopecia sufferers. Perfection is an abstract concept rooted in fantasy and has nothing to do with reality. Aim for authentic instead. Let the ancient art of Japanese Wabi-Sabi inspire you whereby imperfections are the feature that is highlighted as the beauty of the piece. Your imperfections are usually your greatest assets which will make you more relatable and attractive to others. That’s how you gain deeper connection and intimacy with others, as well as yourself – which, incidentally is the most important relationship in your life.

Don’t put other people’s welfare before your own.

How can you give the best of yourself to others when you have not ministered to your own needs first? This is a classic problem for many care givers – personal and professional, leading to at best resentment at worst nervous break downs. It never pays, not matter how valid some one else’s need is. Once you have put yourself in the right place, then you are ready to give – which will be of far greater value.

Don’t live through other people’s lives.

It’s very easy to trade our own dreams in for someone else’s. Grown up children and their parents are a classic example. One of the mothers at our school told her husband that she too felt inspired to go on a gap year, now that the kids were planning world tours before university. That’s the way to go!

Always consult with your feelings first

This is checking in with what’s right for you this is your guideline – see Let your heart be your GPS – minister to your needs and wishes – You are your own priority (afterall, no one else will prioritise you, no matter how nice you are to them).

Please forward this article to anyone you think would benefit from the information.

If you would like a consultation with me either in person or via Skype, then please contact me at

meikelawrence@hotmail.co.uk

or visit my Website WWW.HomeopathyForVitality.co.uk

Enable your Child’s full potential with Classical Homeopathy

Homeopathy for children #01Classical homeopathic treatment is able to balance a child’s individual constitution, which can enhance their growth and development.

We are all born with unique DNA that determines how our particular body functions physically, mentally and emotionally. We can see familiarities in relatives that show this phenomena. What this means is that we all have particular personality tendencies and physical features that determine which circumstances physical or emotional we struggle with or find easy. It is these tendencies that a classical homeopath prescribes for in order to ‘get to the bottom’ of chronic or acute illness. The theory behind it is that people only get ill when their systems are not able to cope with certain physical or emotional circumstances. Usually, illness can be traced back to a particular event that the patient could not quite cope with. These events or circumstances may seem important to some people but if that constitution finds it difficult to adapt to, then this can trigger illness.

Once the constitution is in balance, the intensity, duration and recurrence of illness lessens, because the system is more able to adapt to changing circumstances.

Reassuringly, homeopathy, as a dilute preparation, does not introduce harmful chemicals into your child’s body, but rather gently stimulates their systems to get ‘back on track’.

Homeopathy for children #02

Case: A 10 year old Anxious Child

Beth was a robust and down to earth child. She found making friends easy and had an uncomplicated nature. She did, however suffer acute anxiety about going upstairs or being in bed on her own. She would imagine monsters under the bed. She was also very worried about her older sister starting secondary school, as she felt that she was too small to cope with the bus journey and the large new environment. This condition was starting to cause problems for her and her family so they tried homeopathy. Her constitutional remedy helps people who are most concerned about the ‘big bad world’, and feel they need to protect themselves primarily in the physical sense. Issues such as moving house, losing money and going to a new environment as well as the dangers of contamination tend to be trigger factors for this constitutional type.

Beth started to allay her fears so much so that within a month she had no anxiety about going to bed on her own and no longer worried about other members of her family.

To this day, Beth is now a confident child that can cope much easier with her changing environment.

Homeopathy for children #03

Case: A 5 year old with persistant colds

Madeleine was a pretty and cute little girl, who was looking quite poorly that day, as she had had a cold for two weeks and didn’t seem to be getting better. Despite looking drained and ill, she proceeded to play very nicely in my clinic, looking over every so often to check that she met with my apppoval. She had had friendship problems at school recently. The remedy I gave her helps people who are nurturing but also wants nurturing themselves. Once way they do this is by making sure they come across as a ‘loveable’ type.

After the dose, the mother reported that the next day Madeleine had an emotional outburst, but then started to feel better until her full recovery 2 days later. As I had suspected, the cause of illness had been a bottled up upset. The remedy had enabled her to release the emotion, which had blocked her immune system, so that she could make a full recovery.

Homeopathy for children #04

Case: a 3 year old with difficult behaviour

Joe was pale, thin boy who was suffering from severe constipation, only going every 3-4 days. His mother was getting worn out, as he was very demanding and clingy, following her round the house calling ‘mummy’. Although he could socialise nicely, he would revert to childish behaviour and tantrums when he was not getting his own way. Contributing factors were that his mother had suffered stress and depression during and post-nataly, as she felt unsupported by her relatives. In these situations, there can be a transference of feelings from parent to child. The constitutional remedy I prescribed is for people who feel that they are weak and helpless mentally and physically. They fear for the future in case something comes up that they can’t cope with. When they feel compromised, they will ither keep themselves to themselves for fear of disturbance, or cling to others.

A month after treatment I received the following email:

“Joe is quite a different boy since we saw you. He regularly used the potty and the toilet and takes no prescription medicines for constipation anymore. He is slightly better with his eating and his temperament is much better. He still has his defiant streak and will whack us if he is cross but the main breakthrough was the toilet issues. I just wanted to thank you for seeing him and for the remedy as it clearly did the trick!” Mrs B, Ashstead

Homeopathy for children #05

Case: a moody 11 year old

Kate was a healthy 11 year old girl, who had had the odd bladder infection and tummy upset but no serious conditions. She was very intelligent and self-contained, but sometimes very shy and timid when meeting new people or situations. She had, however, the tendency to flare up in anger or be overly upset by other people on a regular basis, which spoilt an otherwise happy family life. On further questioning, the upset behaviour came about when she had ‘lost face’ in some way, or she felt she had been put down. For example, losing a family game of monopoly would put her in a rage. The remedy I prescribed helps people who need to be valued. They are therefore very sensitive about situations that could shed a poor light on them. They take things personally when they are contradicted in some way, because they feel that what they stand (or their values) is who they are. This constitutional type would do badly after losing a job, money or friends.

After treatment, Kate calmed down dramatically within a week. Now she shows the positive aspects of her constitutional type which is that she is a high flyer and will always put 110% effort into activities that she feels she gives the greatest value. recently she was offered a place at Oxford University.

Homeopathy for children #06

Case: a hyperactive, overweight 5 year boy.

George was a lively, yet overweight boy, who had an enormous appetite. He had been described as an ‘aggressive feeder’ at birth. Physical ailments included regular colds and sore fingers, lips and nose, which he constantly picked. There was also a question mark over his hearing tests. His parents were also concerned because he was complaining about school every day, partly because he felt that learning was boring so that he was getting behind on his reading and writing, and partly because he seemed to have a lot of problems with friendships.

George’s constitutional remedy helps people who tend to suffer insecurity, which makes them possessive and suspicious about whether others may take something away from them. This makes them want to ‘take as much as they can’, just in case. Hyperactivity and attention deficit is associated with this state, as it can be triggered when babies are trying to make a connection with their mothers and feel they are not succeeding.

After treatment, George initially physically discharged via a stomach bug, because his physical system felt ‘overloaded’. His parents noticed that his appetite when down, so that he only ate when hungry. Most pleasingly, however, was that George was now positively enjoying school and concentrating sufficiently enough to substantially improve his skills. He also was not complaining about his friends, as he was no longer feeling issues around them.

Homeopathy for children #07

Case: a 7 year-old boy with food intolerences and asthma

Sebastian had always had an intolerance to diary, which was now cut out of his diet. Since last summer, however, he had developed asthmatic symptoms and regularly use an inhaler. He found indoor swimming very difficult as his chest felt very tight in the chlorine gas filled air. Allergies, excema and asthma are all due to toxic overload, so that the body because very intolerant to it’s surroundings. In other words his body was unable to release the toxins in the body via the liver.

On further questioning it seemed that he had had a tough time settling into his new prep school the previous year. Because he was a very sensible and quiet child, the teacher had sat him next to a troublesome boy, who kept stealing his things. the teacher believed that Sebastian’s good behaviour would ‘rub off’ on the boy with bad behaviour. Similarly, other boys were also verbally bullying him. In these situations Sebastian was suppressing his upset and resentment, as he was trying to be nice and sensible. It seemed very unfair to him that other people could act unreasonably when he was being so nice. His mother was concerned that his drawing depicted lots of scenes of war and monsters. It was obvious that he needed to express his internal conflicts. I spoke to him about connecting with how he feels about things in any situation and not put those feelings in the cupboard in order to let his mind run his life, as those feelings will not go away and turn to resentment if not listened to.

The remedy I gave him helps people who tend not to express and act through their feelings, and instead, choose to be objective and reasonable about everything. They then become more sensitive about what other people say or do to them that is unreasonable, as it’s not their way. As a result they tend to dwell on past disagreements, which can eventually become toxic, because feelings, like a river, should flow and then be let go of. Since the body reflects the subconscious, it will also retain toxins in the same way the person retains and not release his feelings.

Within hours after the treatment, the mother emailed me to say that Sebastian commented on how ‘light’ his body felt, as if it wasn’t there and did a drawing of a long line of people holding hands. A week later, he was coming out of school with a broad grin on his face – something his mother had not seen before. She also noticed how much better his complexion looked, no longer pale, but rosy. After one month the asthmatic symptoms were gone, as the body had discharged all the toxins, as he was no longer retaining his feelings.

Suppressive Therapies, Homeopathy, and the State of Mankind

Thanks for your blog – as a homeopath myself, I try to give similar messages – there is a valid alternative that from a health industry that you and I represent, as opposed to the ‘sickness industry’ that is the only thing of offer at the moment

Sukuun Holistics

Allopathy– a popular term in alternative medicine for the type of medicine practiced by the medical industry yet coined by Samuel Hahnemann the founder of Homeopathy a couple centuries ago– is largely a suppressive type of therapy. Why? Because it reduces the human organism to a machine, made of separate and disconnected parts (organs and tissues) that is too weak, too ignorant, and too fragmented to intuitively understand and/or fight ‘disease’ on its own. This spiritless body that only holds disease in the physical realm must surrender all of its evolutionary wisdom in the art and science of survival to a foreign chemical substance that will quiet the pain or the symptoms, because lest our poor precious fragile modern bodies feel any sort of pain. When viewed with such a materialist and limiting lens, the body can only be treated with similar medicines– reductionist, materialist, limited, and contrived substances that…

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How to eliminate Stress in your Life.

stress

“COMBAT STRESS” was the instruction on a car bumper sticker I saw recently. We all know about stress in this day and age and none of us want it! But how to effectively deal with it when it arises?  So, how do you feel when you know you have to combat something? Yes – stressed out. Is this really the correct strategy to dealing with this problem (or any problem), or does it actually exacerbate it?

STRESS, like all ailments, once given a label, starts to have a character of its own: You know, you’re living your life and minding your own business… and then along comes Mr Stress and ruins it all for you!

When we see things like this, our happiness seems to depend on our external circumstances and more worryingly,  random characters called stress, over whom you have no control, turn up uninvited. Our usual behaviour  to counter our stress is to pamper ourselves, watch TV, make positive affirmations, have a glass of wine – but does this stop the same thing happening again? No, because you haven’t tackled the root of the problem.

To empower ourselves and understand the mechanisms involved we need to first of all know what stress is. It’s actually very simple – it’s an internal resistance to what is currently happening. If we were ok with everything that occurred whether planned or unplanned – AKA going with the flow – we wouldn’t feel stressed at all. And when you think about it logically, exactly what can you do against current circumstances (people, events things)?

So why do we do this to ourselves, if we’re on a ‘hiding for nothing’? It’s because our formative conditioning, which is stored in the subconscious, has a survival manual. The instructions vary from person to person, depending on their childhood experiences and upbringing/genetics.  Certain things are not allowed to happen or should happen in order for you to be safe, in simple terms.

Homeopaths say that there are 3 ways that we resist REALITY and that is either to combat (e.g. over-reactive anger), to grasp (e.g. co-dependant relationships) or to switch-off (e.g. shyness). So the stress has actually been triggered inside of us and not externally, as we are running away from the truth of the situation in the belief that we could ‘control it’. What it in effect does is limit our life-experience – we play the small game due to fear. It then also inhibits our inner wisdom, (your spirit), who wants to play the bigger game – which could lead us to a  far more exhilarating, and fulfilling life.

My teachers, Sanjay and Jogesh Seghal used to demonstrate case taking whereby the opening question would always be “why are you here?” The answer they were looking for was not the description of the disease the patient was suffering from, but what they were resisting about the implications the illness had. A classic case was a man who had bashed his foot and was complaining that it stopped him from going to work – so his real issue was not the pain but the loss of business. The remedy prescribed therefore was not Arnica, but Opium, as they have major concerns about their business. Homeopathy is medicine that mirrors the reason why the Vital Force is blocked (the resistive action that the patient is making) which helps the patient ALLOW rather than RESIST his current condition. This then enables the Vital Force to flow freely again, to fully heal  the body and mind.

A practice that you could try to demonstrate this for yourself:

Next time you feel stressed out just allow all the bad feelings to come up inside you and just ‘sit with them’, without trying ‘to do’ something about it. My experience is that after the initial shock of feelings, a feeling of warmth, connection and even wisdom about the situation can occur. When the Vital Force is allowed to flow again – which happens when we allow LIFE to do it’s thing (regardless of our survival agenda), then things return to order again.

For me Jeff Foster is one of the most potent modern writers about this matter:

“Fall apart completely

Make a mess

Get it all wrong

Open up to your glorious inconsistency

Embrace the perfection

of your fabulous imperfection

And you will be able to say:

I was there!

I was alive!

I was willing!”

– Jeff Foster

How to Avoid Colds this Winter

cold

Once autumn sets in and the kids are back at school, the prevailing belief system is that the “bugs will come and get you”. We feel like sitting ducks waiting for the onslaught – What can you do?

Natural and holistic therapists see things differently. The power is entirely in your hands, as colds and flues are not caused by what you think they are (bacteria and viruses).

To give an analogy: in medieval times they used to shoot ravens, because they always appeared on battlefields to scavenge dead bodies. The reason for culling the ravens was because they were seen as the ‘bringers of death’ – really is was a matter of circumstantial evidence – of course nowadays we know this is non-sense (and yes they are reintroducing ravens in the wilder parts of the country)…but this analogy also holds true for all bio-organisms such as viruses, bacteria and fungus. They need a habitat and food (acidic soil and dead debris) to be present and thriving. In fact, they do a pretty good job, breaking down and getting rid of rubbish (toxins), the stuff that our bodies are unable eliminate (I’ll go on to explain why). So bacteria and viruses are present when we are ill – not as a cause but as a result of the disease state!

So why do we get colds? Because the body it trying to spring-clean itself as it is not able to eliminate toxins also know as free-radicals – which are the only harmful things in our body via  the normal route. The reason we are more prone to them when the weather turns colder, is because our liver which is responsible to not only eliminating and assimilating nutrition also has to keep us warm. As this function increases, something ‘has to give’ i.e. elimination of those dangerous toxins. Antibiotics, by the way, are great for reducing  the symptoms of this process, but the toxins remain, as evidenced by recurrent ‘infections’ or more health problems after taking them. See Are you Treating the Cause of your Illness?

So how can we avoid needing this inconvenient spring clean AKA a cold?

  • Eat plenty of anti-oxidants – fresh fruit and veg – ideally highly coloured. Historically, access to these, by the way, is the only reason that people stopped dying from ‘infectious’ diseases.
  • Reduce eating processed foods, especially sugar
  • Resolve ongoing stress in your life. When we feel chronically negative and stressed our bodies retain the toxins that should be eliminated naturally (toxin mind, toxic body).

Ongoing stress and upset is at the deepest root of ill-health and this is where homeopathy helps.

To illustrate: I had a case last year of a little four year-old girl, who was very run-down while suffering from a cold that had been ongoing for 2 weeks and getting worse. Normally she was quite healthy, I suspected after taking her case that she was upset by some problems she was having with here friends at school. As a pulsatilla – type constitution, friendships and sympathy are very important to these gentle souls. After giving her pulsatilla, the mother reported that the next day, the little girl had an emotional outburst, and then made a speedy recovery over the next day.

I have discovered in my practice, that colds, chest infection and eye problems all relate to unexpressed sadness and grief. This is why the little girl had to discharge her unresolved emotions in order to enable her body to stop ‘expressing it for her’ (our bodies reflect our sub-conscious, in other words our unexpressed self).

So next time you get a cold in the Christmas holidays – Don’t be a victim to old dogmas. Get to the root of and resolve your upsets. Look after your body’s needs.  Empower yourself by  cleansing your mind and body.

For Further Reading: Why Germs can’t make you ill and Drugs don’t cure you by NoR

 

Will Supplements make me Healthier?

vitamins

Recently in the news, doctors have advised caution on nutritional supplements, as these could actually increase health risks, results in conditions such as cancer in certain cases.

A  report indicated that 60% of over 60’s regularly took nutritional supplements, ranging from cod liver oil to vitamins. When asked, many were not, as such, suffering from a condition but felt that it would somehow keep them healthier in older age. The (western) belief is that the more we do/take the better things become.

Holistic medicines regard ill health is not the result of deficiency, but of an imbalance. The ultimate imbalance that can occur within our bodies is in the assimilation and elimination processes.  So how do we know what is right for our bodies to keep this in balance? The answer lies in the body’s intelligence and not in nutritional books that offer a one-size-fits-all solution.  

To illustrate: I treated two small boys recently, both suffering from eczema. The first boy was quite thin, not growing well and reluctant to eat all his meals. He did, however crave dairy and meat products and rejected most fruit and vegetables. The second boy was fairly well-built and although had a good appetite tended to reject dairy and had a strong craving for soft fruits such as strawberries and blueberries.

In both cases, the mothers expressed an anxiety that their sons were not eating an adequate diet, but I could see that their natural choices were totally correct for their constitutional type. The smaller boy had a problem assimilating food, due to an imbalance in the liver, so was choosing high levels of nutrients that required minimal digestion to get maximum growth. The bigger boy’s constitutional weakness was elimination – when the body retains toxins this becomes detrimental to our health and so the boy’s appetite prioritised the most effective antioxidants.

Ultimately, when our constitutions are put back into balance, there is usually a tendency to crave a greater variety of foods, but this can also be dependant of seasons, activities, growth patterns and other factors, including pregnancy, that dictate our current body’s requirement.

Homeopaths, therefore, advise that if the body has not asked for the food/supplement, do not eat it, it will not be right. If the body is overloaded with stuff it has to process, especially synthesised and unnatural products, the eliminative organs will become overloaded which can cause a health problem: toxins that the body cannot eliminate degrade cellular functioning and therefore health.

Many diseases we experience today, are a direct result of us detaching ourselves from our own innate nature ie our inbuilt natural instincts and knowledge, in preference to an external source, which cannot know what you as an individual in your circumstance needs.

So, TUNE INTO YOUR BODY TODAY AND ENJOY WHAT YOU EAT.